How can you know if they are your twin flame and not limerence or obsession?
07.06.2025 20:02
All these changes in him, I never saw it coming, it just did, and puf, he tells me he is moving out of the country in a few days. I told him “ well, You got to do what you got to do”. In that moment my very controling husband sent me a threatening message, I just went on mumbling, he said “its your choice you dont want to end your marriage”, “nah, he is not that bad” I said. Got to say he never asked me to leave my husband, never being toxic, never said I should do something…just that one comment that he made the day I last saw him. He moved 12000 miles in a few days. I was still fine with his leaving, cause you know, man got to do what he got to do. Kept sending him chilly messages from time to time, he kept answering, untill after a month or two he left my message unread for a few days. OMG I went down to hell and back, who knows what triggered inside me, i have blocked him in every social media an went down to bed, speaking to nobody, eating nothing, just obsessing and longing after him, 3 months now. Seeing signs, dreaming of him, feeling syncronicities, literally chasing up with demons every night. He is still blocked, doesnt try to reach me, neither do I. I realised thoug how much I loved him since the very first day, I remembered every single of our conversations, which I never do, I never listen to anybody, never remember what a person said, now it just came to me, soooo fucked. I guess he has done his job, while I was just going with a flow, so it's my turn now. So, can limerence heal an addictive gambler, or bring you out of train trailes, make you a better father and a better son. Is my awekening and aknowledging our conection after he surrendered due to a limerence? Me now seeing he was in my mind every minut,every day in a past 5 years, I just never see it before. Me now seeing how much my marriage is damaged, how much my job doesn't fulfill me, how much I'm busy pleasing others, how blunt and superficial and dull I am. Now I see how detached I am from my family, my kids, everybody. My son tried to hug me today and I made a step back, pushing him away, like stop what the fuck are you doing. My 11 years old son. Figuring what to do, but one thing I know for sure it is that I'm not going to contact him, he did triggered me, as I triggered him back then, but he can't help me fix my life, only I can. It took only one word for he to stay and I missed saying it. 😔 One bad ass of a runner I am.
Now, he told me that the obsessing me was the thing that made him get up and do all this things. ( he kows nothing about TF label) He was at the train trailes 3 years ago, waiting for a train to come and end his life, and I sent him a message “hello little warm, tell me you're not jumping down the train trails today, cause I might need you tomorow.” It was just a joke for me, at least I thought it was.
Well, I have read somewhere that the main differece between twin flame and limerence is in the result. Limerence is a mind fuck that pulls you down, twin flame brings you up. In practice, I'll tell you about my experience. Take me as a runner. So, I met this men almost 5 years ago, ( we were both married and with kids) went trough all that love bubble phase, I'm just going to skip it now. So, at a time, he is the most broken person I've ever met, he is an addictive gambler, parting and drinking all the time, cheating his wife, patological liar, losing all of his friends and familly, his job, his car, not being a good father, and in a really bad marriage with a narcissistic women, having suicidal thoughts. He was in every way emotionaly detached from every living person around him, his own parents, his sister, friends, even his 3 years old daugter. He was such a rude asshole towards every single person, and then we met each other. No need to say thet he never do or say anything bad to me, it always was only pure love from him to myself. Later I found out that he only layed in bed for days, talking to anybody, eating nothing, just sleeping ( her ex wife told me that, not him), only I know he was comunicating with me, as he has never stoped writting me. I knew nothing about TF back then, nore I wondered about our conection, as I was such a bad ass runner. Now I know he faught tremendously, longing and obsessing over me. I did always loved him unconditionaly, forgot to mention he had all his lover teeth roten when we met, God he was such a mess. I loved him nevertless. Never asked him anything, never told him you're this or that, never told him what he should do or not, I was just going with a flow, sending him cute emogies, hugs, quotes, songs…nothing planned tough. He was telling me how much he struglles at time to time, but I never felt pity about him. Now I know it is because he is my soul, one could never really pity itself. So, eventually he got up, quit gambling, finds a new job, pay all his depts, got divorced, got back with his friends and familly, took custody of his daugter, (Once he was such a mess he couldn't take her to swimming school, so I made an arrangement to take her with my kids), fixed his teeth, starting playing sports again (he was a couch earlier in life)…literally he bacame a different person. It is astonishing what he has done with his life.